“It is well-known that people communicate through a set of filters shaped by history, sense of identity, beliefs about what is true, and values about what is right, as well as perceptions and interpretations of what is going on. When someone else communicates with us, we squeeze the message through our own personal filtering system to understand.

Of course, people from the same ethnic, cultural, gender, national, or geographic grouping have some common history and beliefs. That makes communication within those groups easier, than between people who come from different backgrounds.

Beyond these differences, each of us also has unique ways of thinking and processing. We pay attention to various aspects of reality, based on how we individually use our brains. Some of us think in detailed linear sequences, while others prefer to envision a larger whole.

Some people are attracted to those things that are different and new, while others are drawn to what is the same (or at least similar) to what they already know.

But what if we could really understand what someone means when he or she talks to us? Even better, what if we could predict someone’s behavior based simply on what was said? Best of all-what if we could influence that behavior by how we responded?”

Shelle Rose Charvet: Words That Change Mind